I finally had a dream the other night. I went to my family doctor at the beginning of the semester and told her about my bad dreams. She gave me this little leather bag of herbs to wear around my neck for a week and then when the week was up, I just kept it by my bed just in case. Well since I’ve had the little bag of herbs I have not had any dreams at all really, it’s pretty crazy. And definitely very weird ‘cause I’m definitely not used to having dreams. Anyways, getting to the point, it was very bad timing to have a blog about dreams haha.
The dream was pretty gross and creepy to me. For whatever reason, I had this little new born baby. It was so tiny and for some reason he felt like a tiny sandbag haha but I was worried that I was going to end up squishing it. I was trying to wrap him up in a blanket and I couldn’t do it because its little arms wouldn’t stay in the blanket. Well, it wasn’t a long dream, but it bothered me none the less.
I don’t like the sort of anxiousness that was in the dream, even if it was a slight fear of squishing it. I think it largely stems from some of the stuff my friends have been up to. They’ve been getting so domestic lately, and it freaks me out quite a bit. I’ve heard of some of the people from my high school having kids or getting married, but nothing hits home like when my best friends that I’ve known since elementary school start settling down. My friend Cindy is already 5 months along and she asked me to be her child’s nina, which I gladly and excitedly accepted. She just found out the other day that it is officially a girl. I can’t wait, a tiny Cindy, she’s going to be such a hell raiser! Haha And my other friend Shirley was recently engaged. And literally just as I was writing this post, she told me that she got married. Official, ring on the finger, legitimization. It’s almost surreal.
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It’s interesting how dreams can totally effect how you think and feel. I have woken up before absolutely pissed off at a friend for something they have done in a dream. I know it’s wrong to hold a grudge against them, but it takes me a couple days to let my anger subside and I usually avoid them during this time. I am a firm believer that dreams do have meaning, that it is your subconscious trying to tell you something that you might not think of in waking life. What I absolutely hate is the dreams I have where I’ve been drinking in the dream and then I wake up and have to go to school or work and get all panicky that I’m still drunk and I can’t drive when in reality I’m completely sober. It’s surreal how realistic dreams can be. When I was young I used to have intense nightmares all of the time until my parents finally got tired of my crying at night and took me to see a doctor. I don’t have any recollection of those therapy sessions, but since then I have never had a real nightmare since. Sorry I can’t give any advice on how to get rid of nightmares, but you just have to remember that it was just a dream and that those fears may be valid but they are nonexistent. A few questions came up when reading your blog, for instance what exactly is a nina? And what kind of doctor gave you a bag to wear around your neck? That’s cool that it worked though, sometimes not dreaming is better than dreaming at all. I also totally feel you about your friends settling down and being domestic. Two of my close girl friends just had babies, and 2 other friends just got married. Although I am happy for them, in a way I’m sad because I feel like they are moving on in their lives and don’t want to have fun with me anymore. I know that’s selfish of me, but I miss them partying and being carefree and not being bogged down with responsibility. What’s incredibly scary is one of my close friends just turned 30 this year, it makes me feel old when I feel so young still! Life is truly a mystery sometimes!
ReplyDeleteHaving wierd dreams is something that i've always wondered about. Do you think that there is something that maybe triggers then? I have a theory that I have a wierd dream every time I eat fish! I know that sounds strange, and it is something that happens entirely too often, hence, I hardly ever eat fish haha. I also think that cinema and literature also trigger wierd dreams, particularly when events described in either are shocking/grotesque...or...shockingly grotesque :P. I agree that seeing your friends starting families does cause a little bit of anxiety, especially since the idea of "progression" in society is well...getting married and starting a family. I am 27 at the moment and though I don't feel the extreme need to "progress," I can't deny that seeing friends (particularly in my age group) starting families already does make me think a littttle about pursuing that someday, but not just yet.
ReplyDeleteHi Jennay!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting blog space, to say the least. The dark blue color and purple font give it the perfect "dreamy" feel. You might want to acknowledge when entries are going to veer away from the dream context in the beginning of posts. Often bloggers have a theme, and then veer away from it, but they at least acknowledge the original promise to readers nonetheless.
You are open and honest and this makes the blog fun to read. I suggest playing around with breaks between paragraphs to help the reader's eye negotiate the text. Remember to post twice a week (on 2 different days).