Final Leap of Faith?

To be honest, I don’t really feel like I’ve come to any sort of conclusion. I know my dreams will continue beyond the life of this blog and it leaves me, restless? apprehensive? Unfulfilled? Only a bit though.

I suppose the logical answer would be to continue the blog, yet as much fun as I’ve had sharing these very personal parts of me, there is just something about opening up that bounded journal. As I’ve said before, something inspiring about the feel of a pencil to paper and putting away your dreams in a drawer to take out later to share something once again. That might just be me though… and maybe the guy from the shinning…

Heeeeere’s Jennay!

Haha couldn’t help putting that in...
Admittedly, it seemed a bit daunting at first. Okay, maybe more than a bit, especially because it had a very rocky start. First of all, I was apprehensive to even share my dreams, because I’m not normally a very share all person. To make it worst, for the first couple of weeks I didn’t even have any dreams! So I didn’t have any immediate upfront dreams to share, which I suppose only added to the anxiety. Now that I look back after developing my blog, do I see other choices I could have employed, but nonetheless I tried small anecdotes.

I felt like I had let myself down somehow though. Originally agreeing to go out on a limb and share something as personal as my dreams, I eventually decided not to care what people would think of my outrageous dreams and laid them out.

I’m glad I did, because the experience was very rewarding. I did not feel judged by my classmates. In fact, they shared some interesting comments at times.
My favorite part of the process of blogging about dreams is how versatile it turned out to be. I played around with the creative aspects quite a bit. I wrote them as scenes, stories, recollections, and free writes. If I didn’t have a dream that I wanted to share, I discussed aspects of dreams such as myths and popular beliefs. I could analyze them, symbolically or within their context. I could discuss people and ideas that my current or past dreams related to. And some were simply therapeutic to share.
Honestly, I have more good to say about my blogging experience than anything negative. The first downside is it was really hard to change the format. For water reason blogger doesn't like the tab space at the begining of the paragraph, and couldn't even put it in manually, which was very frustrating. I tried very hard to try and break up my posts in various ways, but formating was a bit restricting I admit, even when I tried to copy and paste from word. I suppose my biggest struggle was consistency at times. The word count wasn’t the intimidating part, it was the time. The time I had to find to put aside and actually write. It was difficult at times especially when homework piled up and spring fever set in, but I got it done and I’m glad.
I can look back at my work proudly and know that it was worth it. =)

Facing It

I suppose the last dream I’ll be sharing with you guys happened to me just last night. At the moment I could consider it one of my worst nightmares. It haunts me during the nights that I dream of it and during the daylight that it slips into my mind. It leaves me uneasy, unlike any scary creature that creeps into my dreams.

I was at some sort of social gathering. It was evening and whosever apartment/condo we were in was not only a comfortable modern feel, but somehow homey. The living room, which is a main part that I remember, had a wide open feel to it, and a huge window with a glittering city view. The sofa was white, and me amongst other people were lounged around the room watching a movie. Light was flickering off of unknown people’s faces. It was somehow peaceful.
I was sitting closest to Amanda on the couch, leaning on her to get a better view of the T.V. I vaguely remember her either asking me a question or us talking about something. After our exchange I had a strange feeling though, I looked down at my stomach to touch it and I felt as if something were inside.
Next thing I know I’m in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test. The two minutes taking forever. It was positive.
While I’m sitting there in the bathroom with the light off, the only light coming in through the tiny window, who walks in, but my mom. “I told you this would happen. Now what are you going to do about school? Why don’t you go do some chemistry?” (Which I despise by the way.) She walks out.
I felt like all was lost and was going to keep this to myself as much as possible, especially from my boyfriend, at least for a little while. Until I figures out what I was going to do.
There’s a knock at the door and I have another visitor. Zach. My stomach falls, but the first thing he says is “Hey are you ok?” He knows what’s going on, and offers me nothing but comforting words. And somehow I feel okay.
Then I woke up. It wasn’t as bad as I recall it. I suppose it feels better just getting it off my chest.

Caution: extreme weirdness

I don’t know about everyone else, but I like to look back at the old dreams I’ve had and written down. It is definitely interesting to read them after a lot of time has passed because there are sometimes some very revealing things.
Sometimes the dreams relate to the issues you were going trough at the time, others that were trying to work out past problems. Whilst others, of course, just seem random.
For awhile, in high school, I tried to keep a separate journal of my dreams, but found it hard. Also, that I was too lazy to reach for another notebook or a different one other that my normal one. This dream journal in particular (I’ve attempted many, and others have been much more successful) started in high school.
I flipped open to the second page and started reading the entry I had written that day.
It was hence dated: October 18, 2004
I quote: “It started out that I had met this guy at this arcade, it must have been. We started out as just friends, then we decided to go out. For dates we hung out at his house, while we were there I tried to connect with him more. It seemed like he kept trying to avoid the questions or all he gave me were short answers. (By the way he had brown hair, kind of nerdy, but in his own cute way)”
It goes on to describe the rest of my dream, but there was a jump in it to something else.
So… creepy factor, I didn’t meet my current boyfriend Zach at an arcade, I met him in comm. College in Phoenix and we talked a little bit in out class, and we became friends on myspace. We wrote back and forth especially once I had moved to Tucson to go to the U. I was obviously interested in him, always writing a lot and asking a bombardment of questions. But he’d only answer a few that I posed n felt he avoided them, making me think that he wasn’t interested me in that way. But we continued messaging, as friends, but me always interested.
Last summer came around and we started to hang out as friends, especially after I invited him to my 21st b-day party. After that we went to quite a few of his friend’s house parties, and after we decided to start dating, hung out at his house. He’s a shy guy so in the beginning it was a bit hard getting much info from him, he gave me a lot of one word answers for a bit. Soooo Strange.

Loki

Oh my gosh. The other morning, I had the saddest dream about mah bebe! His name is Loki, he’s black and white, and has the cutest marking by his tale on his back that looks like a fin (we think he was a seal in another life) and his nose is the cuuuuutest pink color evah!

He’s my red nose pit! Though I don’t know why they call them red nose cause it really looks more pink than any color haha maybe it’s so they sound tougher? Haha well that’s not going to happen with my lover boy sissy! Everyone who has met him tell me that if he was human, they’d totally marry him! Haha I don’t know ask my friends!

Anyways, I was on campus and Amanda had shown up. She was on her phone talking to the police. She told me that there was a break in to our apartment. Immediately I was worried about Loki. And just as I was going to try and find him, some guy runs by and there Loki is right behind him on his heels ready to kick his ass. Amanda noticed she knew the guy, Jimmy was his name,for whatever reason. Well I didn’t want this guy to hurt Loki so I took off after them.

I don’t know how I did it but I was hurdling the gates with only two jumps, somehow keeping up with Loki and Jimmy. Suddenly, the Jimmy guy fell and Loki was on him getting a hold of his arm, and then I jumped in to hold the guy down so Loki didn’t get hurt.

At this point I woke up, and there was Loki’s stupid cute face looking at me with his big brown eyes. I was relieved it was only a dream and he was okay.

Multiple Wakes

I wish I would have blogged about this dream sooner because I feel like I’m forgetting some important parts in the beginning…but, here it goes…
It started out okay, just as a normal dream would go, but it took a turn for something I did not like.
Some strange figure or person was in my dream, and they did not have a good feeling exuding from them. As I’m writing this blog I can now recall the figure was holding my ankles down at the foot of my bed. He wouldn’t let go and the rest of my body struggled to move. I only remember needing to wake up.
I startled awake, lying in my bed. It happened very quickly that I looked over my room. Perfectly normal, right? My Pond and bridge painting on the wall my bed is against. The butterflies I stuck to the wall flying from it. My dresser is next to the head of my bed, and my bookcase on the opposite wall is closest to the door.
All seemed okay until the black mass started to form at the foot of my bed. I needed to get out of my room; this thing was way too scary. I managed to get out of my bed, but I stumbled out of it, not able to stand. I used my dresser to support myself and get myself out of my room. I stumbled to the other wall trying to get to my door. It was closed though and my body slammed against the door to grab hold of the handle.
The figure drew closer, as if he knew I wasn’t going to get away. I tried to turn the handle, but it shrunk in my hand.
Then I really woke up. Once again I was in my bed, but there wasn’t a heavy bad feeling this time.

The things I live through

It’s a myth. I swear. I’d prove it if I could but I don’t know what else I could tell you other than my own personal testimony. I think the first person I’d heard the myth of falling and dying in your dreams was from one of my elementary school best friends, Katie.
“In your dreams, if you’re falling and don’t wake up before you hit the floor, you die!”
Well, here is some living proof any of you who have heard that myth.
I was pretty freaked out when I first heard of this myth on account of I have plenty of bad dreams, so why not one where I’d plummet off of something??
I did have a few dreams of flying.. so that would put me at a high place to fall. But I wouldn’t call those instances falling technically because it was more like a crash landing at times or I couldn’t ever really get off the ground.
However, I do remember a dream that I had a few times when I was little. I was playing kick ball in a school yard with some friends and the ball would roll away from our circle of kicking. No one seemed to go after the ball so I did. I waved my little hand and called out that I’d get it. But as I got closer I realized it had rolled into a sewer drain thing. So I stick my arm, then my body as I could see that I could fit, and I end up falling in trying to get the ball.
I fell for quite a while eventually my body found solid ground with a thump. As I’d look up to see the little red ball in the sliver of light there was a huge chained bear that basically mauled me. That wasn’t nice. Other times it had been a huge black panther.
So.. if I can survive falling and maulings from massive animals.. I think that sort of disproves the myth.

Haunting X

Okay first of all, I am so fuckin’ tired of my ex being in my dreams. I wish I could punch him so hard in my dreams that he would feel in it real life, because frankly, I was already tired of his shit when we broke up what is it 3 years ago! Uggghhh fml! Or at least the dreams that he haunts me in.

Let’s see… one of the first ones was when I was in my house. It was very dreary that day so the inside wasn’t very bright and the inside was cast with a lot of shadows. He, his name is Luis, showed up to my door unannounced with some entourage that I’d never seen before. He wouldn’t leave my door step, so stupidly I let him in hoping my ignoring him further would motivate him to leave. No. Unfortunately not the case he stayed there and in my dream he seriously drove me crazy, it was pretty scary the feeling I got from it. But Zach eventually showed up and seriously saved the day. It was sweet..

Then I remember Luis being in another dream that I don’t remember much of anything that happened other than I saw him, managed to ignore him and walk by him. But this time he didn’t do his creepy follow me around or weird stuff that he usually does. So that was awesome and I was hoping that would surely be one of the last, but it wasn’t.

I don’t remember the most recent one he was in. Apparently it wasn’t important enough to remember. Ha so I don’t even care.

Food for thought... or dreams?

I haven’t really had any good dreams this week to really share guys =(

But I do remember maybe the slightest instance of once again some crazy witch lady that was outside my boyfriend’s window. She was a creepy looking lady and wearing all black. Apparently, she was a perverted old lady because she was being a peeping Tom looking through the window as I was sleeping. I also vaguely remember something about cats as being out there as well. Maybe she was looking for one? Who knows.. I was drinkin’ that night so who knows why I was having dreams like that. Especially, with another crazy witch lady! What da heeeeewwwl?
Speaking of which, well drinks I mean, I don’t know about anyone else, but there are a few foods or drinks that can give me the strangest dreams, maybe even more so than usual. A couple of nights ago, well I think it was actually one of the last dreams that I blogged about (The one with the last witch lady and the crazy freeways haha).

I had some funky food before bed because I was in desperate need of going grocery shopping so I had to throw something together for dinner. I had the rest of my friend’s sub that he left in my fridge from that afternoon that he said he didn’t care if I ate it. So sweet free food and I didn’t have to cook when I didn’t feel like it. He had so much craziness on that thing! Seriously every pepper that subway offered, it was really good goin down, but I could almost feel the heat of it as my poor stomach tried to digest it. That sandwich paired with Doritos dipped in salsa. It was delicious, but for my dreams not the greatest dish as some of you can clearly tell.

Stringy Stiuations

I think some of the worst remembrances of dreams is when they’re fragmented. Dreams tend to be fragmented and bare of logic as it is, but to only have glimpsing memories of such a thing. It can be pretty confusing and strange if you ask me.

The other night I had a dream that there was something sitting at the back of my throat that was uncomfortable and felt on the verge of choking me. I stick my fingers in my mouth to see what it is and grab a piece of string that seems to go on as I pull on it.

I almost feel the string sliding along the back side of my throat until something catches in the back of my mouth that I can feel on the roof of my mouth and back of my tongue. I reach my fingers in once more, until I feel a thin metal object that I can barely hold with my fingers. I maneuver my tongue to let the object pass and attached to the string was a needle.

But it didn’t end there. There was still more string and the gagging feeling was growing increasingly uncomfortable. I had to have pulled out at least four or five needles that had strange heirloom objects or at least something of importance between them.

So I tried looking up string, but none of the definitions really fit my dream. There was a ball of string, tying a string, cutting a string, untangling and using, but I didn’t think any of these were satisfactory. However under thread, which is similar was cotton thread which is what it was made out of. The meaning for that was that “your arguments with a lover over rational things are irrational.” None of the definitions of throat fit nor the ones for heirlooms… Hmmm…

A good lickin'

I recall having the beginning of this dream before. It was this strange metropolis/cavern of freeways. Some looping impossibly others have many split offs. Some going up and out of the cavern into bright light. It was like a roller coaster of pavement. I couldn’t tell which way was up at times. I do remember having a hard time navigating through the roller coaster maze at previous times though.
Suddenly, I was in a more traditional cavern in a sense, or really a cave-like tunnel. There were huge steatites and stalagmites of ice covered rock. I don’t know why we had to go through this thing, but we had to. Only at first could I feel the cold, but after awhile I couldn’t notice it. Me and a few others, which seemed like a pseudo family of members I’ve never seen.
Yet, together we wound our way through the passages having a good feeling that we were nearing the end, until we came to a part of the tunnels that had no ice. It grew a little noticeably warmer and there ceased to be ice. It seemed like someone lived there, but it looked mostly like a big kitchen. There were dried herbs hanging from the ceiling and everywhere else. Pots made of silver and brass hung from the ceiling as well. There was smoke from some unseen person cooking up something.
She emerged from somewhere, immediately pining for me first. I held her off as the rest made it to the other side and to the tunnels again. She was just a little old lady with wrinkly skin and with her hair tied back in usually grandma-like clothing. But apparently she was some sort of which because she blew some sort of powder in my face that was not good. My encounter was to lick my hand and wipe it on her face to counter whatever it was she did. Haha
I’m pretty sure there was more to the fight, but I didn’t write it down soon enough to remember =( but I made off to the tunnels again, and I don’t remember what happened after that.

First Meeting

I had a bunch of dreams last night, I’m sure of that. Most of them I just remember as flashes and glimpses of random bits of stories. The most coherent one I could remember though was about my friend Cindy, the one who is due to have her girl in a couple more months.
I was walking through the living room of a high ceilinged, wide windowed, hard-wood floor house with crisp white walls. Golden sunlight was splashing through the windows giving the whole house a wonderfully comfortable glow. Despite it being bare of furniture, it felt like a home, though apparently just barely being moved into.
From the living room was a shot hallway that lead to a decent sized bedroom with a large window and a door leading to the back yard. My friend Cindy and her boyfriend were clutching paintbrushes and with long strokes, were painting the wall a lima bean green (for lack of a better description). But the color was adorable I assure you.
I had noticed my friend Cindy was holding her baby; it was not surprising, so I had known this fact already. I was, however, a bit concerned with the fumes of the paint lingering in the room. I asked, “Why don’t you guys have this door open?” I reached for the handle and opened it to green grass filled back yard. “Actually why don’t you just let me hold her,” I insisted to Cindy. She obliged to have a better stance to paint.
It seemed like the first time I was seeing her. She was wrapped like a burrito in a pink and white stripped blanket with only her little face peering through. Her adorably round head had dark almost black hair atop her head, and a dainty nose and mouth. But most shocking of all was her wide sparkling brown eyes with long lashes framing her huge orbs. She was so cute.
Suddenly, Cindy came up to me saying her dad was home and had not yet told him, so I should go with the baby to another room until she told him. (The strangest part of this dream is Cindy’s dad had passes a few years ago from a heart attack). From room to room a was just a step ahead of her father looking for what Cindy was and I were hiding. But finally Cindy had finally calmed her father and told him the ordeal.
He seemed upset and mad at first, but once I brought out Cindy’s baby for him to see, he instantly melted and tears started to stream down his face.

My Grandpa

My grandpa liked to watch scary movies. I was too young to understand why then and unfortunately I’ll probably never find out why since I never get to see him anymore. But I believe it is a large reason that lead to my liking of horror films.
When I was little I spent a lot of time with my grandpa even though he would watch scary movies that I had to virtually peek though my fingers the entire time. To make it worse, during the scary parts he’d make this strange screeching noise and grab my arm or my back with his hand, as if the creature were going to get me. It rarely worked though, I always knew it was him, and if it did scare me it was just a good moment for a surprise scare, because I always felt safe with him.
Sitting as his feet or next to him sharing a banana split with fudge, he tell me to look at the parts I tried to look away at because I shouldn’t be scared. A large amount of the movies that he watched seemed to be about some sort of demon, or maybe those are the ones I remember for scaring me the most.
His advice to me was always that if I was scared, that I should put some holy water on my forehead to make me feel better, because if I was scared, it had something to do with me and not so much outside forces.
He would tell me, or really everyone about the dreams he had at night. Not that you couldn’t hear him from his room yelling something incoherent in the middle of the night. He would tell us that he fought the devil all night in his sleep. Basically they were just duke-ing it all night, and he thankfully made it through another night, but was ready if confronted by him again.
My grandpa always told me not to be scared of demons, whether I dreamed of them or not. I should face them, and if I was just too scared, I should run into a cemetery because the ground was holy.
I’m not quite sure why, but my grandpa told me that when he died, he wanted me to spend the night in the cemetery on his grave. If not he’d come visit me in spirit. Never seemed like much of a choice to me, but I’d certainly like to see him.

When Aliens Attack

I was dressed in an outfit I’d usually go out dancing in, a black dress and heels. I was walking down the street to meet my friend Emily to walk her back to my house. It was night time and all the street lights were on. It was easy to find her, and we headed back towards my house. I was doing this as my boyfriend was getting ready, but he was taking quite awhile.

As we were walking down the short way back to my house, the yellow lights from the street lamps were casting eerie long shadows along the houses. But along one side of the houses something moved in the shadow, it was some strange hunched creature with a long tale and a huge fanned out head. It somewhat resembled the alien from well Alien. Just great.

I clacked down the side walk at a faster pace now worried as to why my boyfriend was taking so long to get ready. I went inside and straight into the bedroom. I found him sitting on the bed with his head hanging down. I asked him what was the matter, why he wasn’t ready yet. He told me his neck hurt and rubbed it. I looked at the back of his neck and there was this gross black thing sticking out. I grabbed the part sticking out and this disgusting little worm alien came out. I threw it on the ground and killed it.

The other bigger one was heading to my house. We broke a window and escaped to the car. We got in and one of my boyfriend’s friends seemed out of it as my boyfriend peeled the car out of the drive way. I checked his neck and the worm alien had developed past pulling it out, so I opened the back door and rolled him out. Some of his other friends were jumping on the car all crazy-like.

We raced to this area were lots of other dressed up people were congregating. There were high fences and a check point to get in. It looked like sea of black suits and dresses. Then I woke up.

Flowers in her hair

There’s a lot of ways people deal with deaths, I for one apparently deal with it partially through my dreams. My great grandmother was a mysterious lady. We called her nana nana. She stayed in a trailer in the back of my tia’s house to keep her independence, but have someone near at hand if she needed it. It had lots of religious trinkets, the Virgin of Guadalupe, a Crucifix, and various other Saints. Part of her mystery was the way she looked she had lots of wrinkles that make her very wise looking, she had flowery shirts and long skirts, she had her curly hair done pulled back in a handkerchief.
When I was little I visited her with my family often, but she lived a long life passing away at 98. I was young enough at the time not quite able to grasp the concept of death. But this incident certainly made me think of it. I realized that life was very precious and that there was inevitably an end.
My dream was of my mom driving her, at the time purple f., truck, my grandmother in the front passenger and me and my nana nana in the back seat. For whatever reason there was a bunch of beach balls in this neighborhood street, my mom swerved trying to avoid them. She turned too fast and drove into someone’s back yard crashing into a pool. This pool though was a lot deeper than a normal pool. The truck obviously fit and was sinking way down. The entire truck was submerged. I watched my mom and grandmother get out of the front. Then me and my great grandma finally got out once I struggled with my seatbelt. As we were swimming out I could see the light coming through the surface of the water and I started to swim towards the light. Until my nana nana grabbed my arm, for whatever reason she wasn’t going to make it to the surface. Behind her I could see my mom’s purple truck sinking towards the black depth of water.
I looked at my forearm where she was holding me, “Nana nana, you have to let go.” “Come with me mija,” she says, “come with me.” “I can’t, I have to go back to the surface. You stay here and rest now.” Her grip was still tight and I gently placed my hand on hers to gently take it off. She obliged and sunk down into the deep water. I swam to the surface and started to cry. Then I woke up crying, I had the lingering feeling of her touch on my arm.
My nana nana was a mysterious person; I’ll always remember her wise eyes and the flowers she wore in her hair.

One of the earliest

One of the earliest dreams I can remember had to do with praying mantises. It was when I was living with my grandparents and spent a great deal of time with them and at their house (of course). I can’t remember too much of what happened, but I think it was just another casual day at my grandparent’s house, then all of a sudden, I couldn’t find anyone around the house. So I went looking around in the living room, the back room, the kitchen, and dining room. No one.

I finally get to the hallway, the place that had long shag carpet with a strange red color to it. There’s a slight step up to get into the hallway, but before I did, I took note of the strange eeriness it had to it. Even thought the light in the middle of the hallway was on, it was unusually dark and casting shadows. I slowly walked down the hallway. All the doors were closed. The bath room, the middle room, the room across from my grandparent’s room, I don’t quite remember if the door to my grandparent’s room was closed or not, but something drew me to it. I cracked it open to peek inside, and inside some of my family members; my mom, older brother, and younger brother (only ones I had at the time) were in there. The worst part for me is that they started to unzip their skin to reveal their green almost scaly bodies underneath. They unfolded their real selves from their disguising skin, to reveal themselves as praying mantis!!

ooooOOOooo Baaahhh!

Haha jk But it was really scary for me when I was little. The greatest part is that they were wearing human clothes on their praying mantis bodies. I suppose it was appropriate given the already weird circumstances. Haha one of my brothers was even wearing a hat and a white and red stripped shit from what I remember.

old bloody comatose

So the other day, I had the grossest dream haha It started out that I was staying at my mom’s apartment for whatever reason, and this guy that I always see on the bus showed up. It’s funny that he’d show up in my dream, I don’t even know his name =( But whatever, I think he’s from Argentina and he’s got blonde curly hair and blue eyes. He must be some sort of music major because I always see him looking at music scores and swinging his hands about, I assume to the beat.

Anyways… besides that aside… he showed up at my mom’s apartment claiming he needed some place to stay for the night. I was for some reason completely okay with this in my dream and I made him a place to sleep. But before anyone could even go to bed, he started acting all sketchy telling me that he had to go outside for some reason I don’t remember what he had told me.

He’s outside for quite awhile and at this point I’m wondering what the hell he’s doing outside the front of my mom’s place. I go outside to see what he might be up to and tell him he either needs to get inside or go someplace else. I open the door and there are all these very old, almost comatose people outside my door. They’re white-haired and wrinkly, but the worst part is that they were bleeding from their heads! I swear they could have passed for zombies. At this point I think I asked him what these people were doing on the porch. I don’t remember him having an excuse or even if he gave me one at all. I feel bad thinking about it, but in my dream I was seriously grossed out and did not want these old bloody comatose people on the porch so I akin to tried to shoo them away haha. At some point after this I woke up.

Strange dream as usual, but it was the same night I had to read through my script Suberbia and write a five page essay of an auto biography for my character as if I were her. My character volunteers at the hospital and has to see people dying all the time. I suppose I was still thinking about it when I finally go to bed.

Hitting Home

I finally had a dream the other night. I went to my family doctor at the beginning of the semester and told her about my bad dreams. She gave me this little leather bag of herbs to wear around my neck for a week and then when the week was up, I just kept it by my bed just in case. Well since I’ve had the little bag of herbs I have not had any dreams at all really, it’s pretty crazy. And definitely very weird ‘cause I’m definitely not used to having dreams. Anyways, getting to the point, it was very bad timing to have a blog about dreams haha.
The dream was pretty gross and creepy to me. For whatever reason, I had this little new born baby. It was so tiny and for some reason he felt like a tiny sandbag haha but I was worried that I was going to end up squishing it. I was trying to wrap him up in a blanket and I couldn’t do it because its little arms wouldn’t stay in the blanket. Well, it wasn’t a long dream, but it bothered me none the less.
I don’t like the sort of anxiousness that was in the dream, even if it was a slight fear of squishing it. I think it largely stems from some of the stuff my friends have been up to. They’ve been getting so domestic lately, and it freaks me out quite a bit. I’ve heard of some of the people from my high school having kids or getting married, but nothing hits home like when my best friends that I’ve known since elementary school start settling down. My friend Cindy is already 5 months along and she asked me to be her child’s nina, which I gladly and excitedly accepted. She just found out the other day that it is officially a girl. I can’t wait, a tiny Cindy, she’s going to be such a hell raiser! Haha And my other friend Shirley was recently engaged. And literally just as I was writing this post, she told me that she got married. Official, ring on the finger, legitimization. It’s almost surreal.

Sorry, she does this all the time...

We continued doing our homework for awhile and then Amanda made another appearance, she paced in the kitchen for a minute then grabbed her car keys. I was almost immediately relieved with the thought that she would leave and not submit Emily to her prank anymore, but when I turned from my dining room table to ask her if she was leaving and where she was going, she simply proclaimed, “I’m going to my meeting Jennay! Remember? My weekly supremacy meetings!?” “Oh yeah,” was all my lame response was to her.
She left once again in to her room and a little while latter she emerged again to bang around in the kitchen cabinents pretending to look for something and grabbing a few tools from the drawer. She asks me “Jennay! Where’s the screw driver!?” “I don’t know, look in the bottom cabinent.” “That’s right! Why didn’t I think of that!?” She bangs around a bit more and leaves with an armful of tools.
By this time Emily seemed to be very curiously worried about my roommates condition. “Is she okay?” “Yeah, sorry about that.” “Is she schizophrenic?” she tries to ask casually. “I don’t know I tell her, she acts like this all the time.” “Oh, well she’s quite the character. How did you say you met her?” I explained to Emily at the school housing we lived in when we both first moved out here assigned us as roommates. I told her once our lease was up we decided to find a cheaper place together as roommates again. Which made me feel like Emily would probably question my sanity as well now. Haha.
Soon after this conversation, there is a loud blast of music from Amanda’s room. She was rockin’ out none other than Pavarotti. It was amazingly funny and at this point and was coughing and clearing my throat to keep form laughing. She was banging on the walls, occasionally hitting her bedroom door all the while singing along to Pav. as loud as she could. “What is she doing?” “I don’t know one of her experiments.”
It was nearing the end of our workbook chapter, so I excused myself to talk to Amanda quickly and told her that she had to come clean to Emily before she left so she would not want to never return to the apartment again. She was pleased that she had bought into the prank, and laughed as she agreed to let her know.
Finally, we were finished and Emily asked to use the bathroom before she left. As she was in there Amanda positions herself at the table one leg crossed over the other holding up a Fry’s food add studying it intently and making funny “consideration” noises. Emily’s eyes grew wide when she noticed Amanda was at the table with me, and she seemed to want to grab her stuff and avoid her by leaving.
Amanda came out with the truth of her prank and at first Emily was speechless for a moment then broke out laughing. She thought it was hilarious to my relief. So fun was had by all.

My Innocent Oven Nun

So… I suppose an appropriate segue to my fork Nazi story is my very silly and awesome, prank playing roommate (as some may already know from one of my previous blog posts) actually pretending to be a Nazi.
For Spanish class, I had a chapter from my workbook due soon, and my friend Emily, suggested we work on it together. I thought this was a great idea, not having to work on all the damn exercises by myself and not to mention if we were confused with something we could help each other out, that is, until I told Amanda about it. My friend, Emily, is Jewish, and Amanda decided to play a prank/initiation-type thing on her and pretend that she was a schizophrenic nazi-ish person. I was really worried about the whole idea especially because it was the first time Emily was coming over to my apartment, but Amanda made me promise that I wouldn’t tell her what was going on.
The night Emily was supposed to come over arrived, and I could only imagine what Amanda had planned. She was so excited and showed me the small Hitler mustache she had drawn on her upper lip, it was pretty funny how she managed to have it match her limbo red, sometimes strawberry blonde, sometimes brunette-ish hair.
Once Emily had gotten to my apartment we started up working on our homework, we had gotten though a few of the exercises. Then it began.
Amanda came out of her room and said hi to Emily toting her very obvious Hitler stache. It was very hard not to laugh at, let alone believe that she was actually going through this craziness! As Amanda went back into the room, Emily looked back at me, eyes wide and questioning with confusion. I could only say “I’m sorry,” I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheek, “my roommate is a little strange”
Suddenly, I got a text on my phone. It was from Amanda. I immediatelyopen it having no clue what she may need to tell me secretly. The text simply read, How could you not tell me she is the most innocent looking oven nun I have ever seen!
I could not help but laugh. Emily asked what I was laughing about, "Nothing," I say, "just my roomate being silly." I text amanda back, Sorry that didn't cross my mind. Emily is kinda young, and has a softness to her face. She was wearing her straight dark brown hair in a pony tail and wearing a modest sweater. No make-up. I wondered for a minute if Amanda would actually go thought with her prank.…. (con)

Why I Eat Children

I was so outrageously irritated earlier this week with some of the kids that live in my apartments. They are so loud screeching and whatever impossibly earsplitting sounds that my poor dogs can probably only hear. Running and hitting the walls, and slamming the rod iron grate. I think this all happened when those creepy bleach blonde boys that look like the children from the corn moved in across the way, because the little girls that played outside at first were ok. At least they weren’t always by my window. But nonetheless I woke up wanting to eat all their children that day!!! Bahhhh
I swear it seems that the minute I want to take a nap after a long day of school and still have much more work to do later on and want to try to catch up some sleep that I missed out on last night, the kids have to be playing outside. Every. Single. Time. It doesn’t fail.
I’ve even tried to take naps at different times of the day. I’d take one earlier on in the day, because they usually go out around three (the time of the day I feel the most tired of course). Did it work? Honestly… sort of, but not enough so that I could keep up with that sort of schedule because one, I’m usually not as tired before three, and two, they either come out right in the middle of my nap or ruin the end of it. Then I tried sleeping in a different room. I tried napping in the living room but even then the noise was still loud enough through the pillow I was trying to suffocate my hearing with. Not to mention my sliding glass doors let in too much light. And besides I should be able to sleep in my own bed. I even tried taking a nap on a rainy day when I figured the parents wouldn’t let their kids out to play. But noooooo the second I lay my head down the craziness began. Seriously! Who lets their kids out on a cold ass rainy day!?
So… I finally remember to buy some damn ear plugs at the store when I went. And come nap time, I was so excited! I put ‘em in and it was amazingly quiet. When I got up from my nap, my friend asked me if I had slept ok and I said yeah it really helped with the noise. And I asked her if the kids played outside while I slept. No she told me. Of course. Go fucking figure. Bahh

Fork Nazi

I have to say this is the first time I was eager to blog about something that happened the very same day haha. So anyways, getting to the point… For whatever reason all my classes fall on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This hardly leaves me time to do anything. I get up go to class, I have just enough time to make it back to my apartment to have a 30 minute time space to grub on lunch. And then I have to leave again to get to my next class at Pima and after that the space between that class and the next is a futile attempt to make it home.
If there is one thing I hate, its to be hungry. I hate the dragging effect it has on my body and my poor brain stats to flat line. That’s just no fun for me. I had a lot of stuff to do today before my Pima Spanish class; pick up my workbook from my last semester’s professor and work on some of my homework. All in all, I didn’t have time to make the trip home to eat and get my stuff done. I made a baked potato to take with me for lunch today, and with as absentminded as I can be sometimes, I’m just glad I remembered the potato. But I forgot a fork. Oh that precious silver dinning wear.
I figured it would be no big deal if I borrowed a plastic fork from Pima’s cafeteria. I walked over to the café and asked the lady at the register if there were any forks. She asked me if I had ordered food. Instantly, I knew she was going to be shitty if I said no, so of course I said yes and grabbed a fork and knife… oh and some pepper packets. I heat up my food in the microwave and sit down to enjoy it. Until the damn lunch lady comes over to my table to grab the napkin dispenser and in a low trying to be threatening voice says, “You’re going to have to pay for that fork next time… and the condiments.”
I can honestly say I was in disbelief and wanted to laugh in her face, but I tried being nice. And with a smile because I couldn’t hold that much back, told her “oh I’m sorry I forgot my fork.” And she walks away with the napkins because apparently those aren’t free either. I have to admit I was pretty irritated. And as much as I wanted to lick my fork and knife clean and kindly give it back to her, I assume for washing and reusing. I can proudly say I didn’t because I got in trouble the last time I decided to be a shit head and I know it’s not my fault she obviously hates her life. What a crazy plastic fork lunch lady Nazi.

el charro no gusta me

Well I couldn’t stand for that so I threw my drink in her face which would have appeased my anger until her friend decided to throw her drink on me. So I think I grabbed another glass to throw the another drink at her but.. the glass kinda went with it.
I didn’t see the end result because I was immediately pulled out with excessive force by some jerk bouncer that was twice my size.
Then the staff started being rude to Amanda even though she didn’t do anything. They snatched her drink out of her hand and pushed her out the door.
Well I ended up under citizen’s arrest by the stupid rent-a-cops because the real cops were being called since the other chick’s lip got split really bad.
What the main thing is, is that the whole thing was completely unprofessionally handled. He was making assumptions that I was going to be charged with assault and that I would probably end up with a misdemeanor. But I wouldn’t believe that shit, she put her hands on me first and if anything it should be self defense. So outside I sat freezing my ass off accumulating bruises on my wrists and getting harassed by security until the legit cops finally showed up.
They were so jaded about the situation. This was definitely not the first time they’ve had to deal with this stuff. I had to tell my story again to the cops and after he talked to the other officers he asked me if he could uncuff me. Of course he could I was being compliant the entire time despite how I was being treated. He talked to the other officers again and ended up asking me if I wanted to press charges against the other chick. Ha. Told ‘em so. But I didn’t want any trouble and pressing charges seemed like a hassle. I didn’t get hurt and the chick had something pretty from me to see in the mirror every morning. So after telling him no and everything was settled we left.
I have to say I’ve never felt so discriminated against in my life. It’s just a shame that they automatically thought I was a white girl just because of my light skin. But I think the chick taking the dancing stint personally and my shitty treatment had a lot to do with it. The other girl didn’t even get put in cuffs! Ugh whatever. And then again it might have been the same or it might have been worse if I did look more Hispanic. But what’s done is done I refuse to set foot into another shit ass el charro.

No me gusta el charro

I was really excited to try a new place. The El Charro that has a club after ten is just down the street from my apartment on Broadway. It started out as any other night, me and Amanda listening to music having a couple of drinks at the house while we got ready. Once we were all decked out we were off.
We get to the club get inside and get some drinks while we wait for more people to arrive since the crowd hadn’t built up yet. It was pretty cool I like the set up, with the huge t.v. screens playing music videos and the d.j. playing a good reggaeton mix. Finally once my friend had enough alcohol in her that she could dance I dragged her onto the dance floor.
I thought the night was going well, but Amanda said there were quite a few people giving nasty looks which I never saw, but I don’t really care for what anyone else is doing on the dance floor and I just enjoy the music and dance. But to joke around with her I told her “Nah, it’s just a Mexican thing we’re good at giving mean looks.” So she never really mentioned it again, wish I would have paid more attention though.
At one point when I went with Amanda to get another drink we stood off to the side so she could have her drink without spilling it. But some tall cute buff guy came by and said it was a shame I didn’t have one and offered to buy me one. That was just peachy with me so we followed him and his friend to el Charro’s “vip room” which completely unimpressive the music sucked and the area was small as hell.
Well we danced with the guys for a bit, but apparently he couldn’t handle my man handling. So he went his separate way which I couldn’t care less for his lameness.
Me and Amanda went to find someplace else to dance which wasn’t very far with the stupidly small room. She accidentally spilt some of her drink on me and it wasn’t even that much, so I grabbed some napkins off the small tables they had back there and tried to mop it before it dried. And then some chica started giving me nasty looks and laughing! I was like what the fuck? I didn’t do shit! So I decided to be a shit head and go dance in front of her. Well apparently she can’t take a joke because she pushed me. And I am so thankful till today that I didn’t wear heels cause if I biffed it like I nearly did and fucked up the five grand in my mouth she would have had to find out how much dentures were.....
to be continued in the next post...

bad timing

So not too long ago my friend and roommate Amanda was talking to her friend that still lives out in Massachusetts. He was asking her about some good pranks. Afterwards she was all excited about all the ones she had forgotten.
I had only been back in Tucson a couple of days. For breaks I usually go hang out with my family in Phoenix. For some reason I was bombarded with bad dreams after not even the first week of school. It was some pretty upsetting dreams. I was holding a mirror in one of them and my reflection was all strange and distorted. Then somehow we ended up at some strange jewelry party at a store almost like some promotion thing. We were in long white dresses and pears, the owners were really creepy guys. Another dream I had was with my little brother Jonathan and I was trying to keep some guy from trying to kidnap him it was awful especially because he said he was going to come back for me after he got out of jail which for whatever reason wasn’t going to be that long.
I woke up with an awful feeling. I lay awake in bed for the longest time trying to shake the uneasy feeling I had. But of course it wouldn’t go away. I had to use the restroom anyways so I figured just getting up and walking around would help. I walk out my room to my bathroom but the door was closed which is always open, but I was still half asleep so I didn’t think much of it.
I grab the handle to open it and my fingers mush through something to get to the un-giving metal of the handle. I felt my eyebrows furrow. I take my hand back and peer through the blurry sleep still in my eyes at my palm. Just one word. “Why?” Vaseline; spectacular. I wish my roommate would have actually seen her work because thinking back on it even I know it was priceless. I went into the kitchen and couldn’t find the paper towels and almost thought she went through the trouble of hiding those too. But I remembered we were cleaning earlier that day and found them in the kitchen. I wiped my hand and the handle. And used the potty, to have something weigh down the sheets and make it unroll. I was seriously freaked out thinking it was a bug, but it turned out to be a harmless plastic frog. Haha, her trade mark.
I went back to bed, my dreams forgotten.
The next day I told her about it over my salt soaked coffee.

vwelcome

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog. I’ve never done anything like this before and it’s a little new to me so forgive me if I violate some kind of blogging etiquette. Haha My blog is supposed to be about dreams, but I warn you now that I’m sure it will be often that I veer from the subject. If only because I don’t wish to disclose every dream I have and of course I’m sure I won’t have them as consistently to blog about every time.
Which brings me to content I feel that I’m going out on quite a limb to disclose my dreams they’re very personal and I expect nothing but respect because to me they are personal. Another warning is I tend to have bad dreams, it been somewhat of a plague all my life but rest assure if many of the ones I write about aren’t rainbows and skipping through fields of wild flowers. And besides I decided long ago to utilize them and I’ve gotten quite a few good story plots form it.
All in all I welcome you to make yourself at home in the soft, pink (..I’m going to say because honestly I don’t really know what the anatomically correct color of a brain is) folding tissues of my brain. And have fun hanging out on of inner connections of my firing synapses. =)