Facing It

I suppose the last dream I’ll be sharing with you guys happened to me just last night. At the moment I could consider it one of my worst nightmares. It haunts me during the nights that I dream of it and during the daylight that it slips into my mind. It leaves me uneasy, unlike any scary creature that creeps into my dreams.

I was at some sort of social gathering. It was evening and whosever apartment/condo we were in was not only a comfortable modern feel, but somehow homey. The living room, which is a main part that I remember, had a wide open feel to it, and a huge window with a glittering city view. The sofa was white, and me amongst other people were lounged around the room watching a movie. Light was flickering off of unknown people’s faces. It was somehow peaceful.
I was sitting closest to Amanda on the couch, leaning on her to get a better view of the T.V. I vaguely remember her either asking me a question or us talking about something. After our exchange I had a strange feeling though, I looked down at my stomach to touch it and I felt as if something were inside.
Next thing I know I’m in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test. The two minutes taking forever. It was positive.
While I’m sitting there in the bathroom with the light off, the only light coming in through the tiny window, who walks in, but my mom. “I told you this would happen. Now what are you going to do about school? Why don’t you go do some chemistry?” (Which I despise by the way.) She walks out.
I felt like all was lost and was going to keep this to myself as much as possible, especially from my boyfriend, at least for a little while. Until I figures out what I was going to do.
There’s a knock at the door and I have another visitor. Zach. My stomach falls, but the first thing he says is “Hey are you ok?” He knows what’s going on, and offers me nothing but comforting words. And somehow I feel okay.
Then I woke up. It wasn’t as bad as I recall it. I suppose it feels better just getting it off my chest.

Caution: extreme weirdness

I don’t know about everyone else, but I like to look back at the old dreams I’ve had and written down. It is definitely interesting to read them after a lot of time has passed because there are sometimes some very revealing things.
Sometimes the dreams relate to the issues you were going trough at the time, others that were trying to work out past problems. Whilst others, of course, just seem random.
For awhile, in high school, I tried to keep a separate journal of my dreams, but found it hard. Also, that I was too lazy to reach for another notebook or a different one other that my normal one. This dream journal in particular (I’ve attempted many, and others have been much more successful) started in high school.
I flipped open to the second page and started reading the entry I had written that day.
It was hence dated: October 18, 2004
I quote: “It started out that I had met this guy at this arcade, it must have been. We started out as just friends, then we decided to go out. For dates we hung out at his house, while we were there I tried to connect with him more. It seemed like he kept trying to avoid the questions or all he gave me were short answers. (By the way he had brown hair, kind of nerdy, but in his own cute way)”
It goes on to describe the rest of my dream, but there was a jump in it to something else.
So… creepy factor, I didn’t meet my current boyfriend Zach at an arcade, I met him in comm. College in Phoenix and we talked a little bit in out class, and we became friends on myspace. We wrote back and forth especially once I had moved to Tucson to go to the U. I was obviously interested in him, always writing a lot and asking a bombardment of questions. But he’d only answer a few that I posed n felt he avoided them, making me think that he wasn’t interested me in that way. But we continued messaging, as friends, but me always interested.
Last summer came around and we started to hang out as friends, especially after I invited him to my 21st b-day party. After that we went to quite a few of his friend’s house parties, and after we decided to start dating, hung out at his house. He’s a shy guy so in the beginning it was a bit hard getting much info from him, he gave me a lot of one word answers for a bit. Soooo Strange.

Loki

Oh my gosh. The other morning, I had the saddest dream about mah bebe! His name is Loki, he’s black and white, and has the cutest marking by his tale on his back that looks like a fin (we think he was a seal in another life) and his nose is the cuuuuutest pink color evah!

He’s my red nose pit! Though I don’t know why they call them red nose cause it really looks more pink than any color haha maybe it’s so they sound tougher? Haha well that’s not going to happen with my lover boy sissy! Everyone who has met him tell me that if he was human, they’d totally marry him! Haha I don’t know ask my friends!

Anyways, I was on campus and Amanda had shown up. She was on her phone talking to the police. She told me that there was a break in to our apartment. Immediately I was worried about Loki. And just as I was going to try and find him, some guy runs by and there Loki is right behind him on his heels ready to kick his ass. Amanda noticed she knew the guy, Jimmy was his name,for whatever reason. Well I didn’t want this guy to hurt Loki so I took off after them.

I don’t know how I did it but I was hurdling the gates with only two jumps, somehow keeping up with Loki and Jimmy. Suddenly, the Jimmy guy fell and Loki was on him getting a hold of his arm, and then I jumped in to hold the guy down so Loki didn’t get hurt.

At this point I woke up, and there was Loki’s stupid cute face looking at me with his big brown eyes. I was relieved it was only a dream and he was okay.

Multiple Wakes

I wish I would have blogged about this dream sooner because I feel like I’m forgetting some important parts in the beginning…but, here it goes…
It started out okay, just as a normal dream would go, but it took a turn for something I did not like.
Some strange figure or person was in my dream, and they did not have a good feeling exuding from them. As I’m writing this blog I can now recall the figure was holding my ankles down at the foot of my bed. He wouldn’t let go and the rest of my body struggled to move. I only remember needing to wake up.
I startled awake, lying in my bed. It happened very quickly that I looked over my room. Perfectly normal, right? My Pond and bridge painting on the wall my bed is against. The butterflies I stuck to the wall flying from it. My dresser is next to the head of my bed, and my bookcase on the opposite wall is closest to the door.
All seemed okay until the black mass started to form at the foot of my bed. I needed to get out of my room; this thing was way too scary. I managed to get out of my bed, but I stumbled out of it, not able to stand. I used my dresser to support myself and get myself out of my room. I stumbled to the other wall trying to get to my door. It was closed though and my body slammed against the door to grab hold of the handle.
The figure drew closer, as if he knew I wasn’t going to get away. I tried to turn the handle, but it shrunk in my hand.
Then I really woke up. Once again I was in my bed, but there wasn’t a heavy bad feeling this time.

The things I live through

It’s a myth. I swear. I’d prove it if I could but I don’t know what else I could tell you other than my own personal testimony. I think the first person I’d heard the myth of falling and dying in your dreams was from one of my elementary school best friends, Katie.
“In your dreams, if you’re falling and don’t wake up before you hit the floor, you die!”
Well, here is some living proof any of you who have heard that myth.
I was pretty freaked out when I first heard of this myth on account of I have plenty of bad dreams, so why not one where I’d plummet off of something??
I did have a few dreams of flying.. so that would put me at a high place to fall. But I wouldn’t call those instances falling technically because it was more like a crash landing at times or I couldn’t ever really get off the ground.
However, I do remember a dream that I had a few times when I was little. I was playing kick ball in a school yard with some friends and the ball would roll away from our circle of kicking. No one seemed to go after the ball so I did. I waved my little hand and called out that I’d get it. But as I got closer I realized it had rolled into a sewer drain thing. So I stick my arm, then my body as I could see that I could fit, and I end up falling in trying to get the ball.
I fell for quite a while eventually my body found solid ground with a thump. As I’d look up to see the little red ball in the sliver of light there was a huge chained bear that basically mauled me. That wasn’t nice. Other times it had been a huge black panther.
So.. if I can survive falling and maulings from massive animals.. I think that sort of disproves the myth.

Haunting X

Okay first of all, I am so fuckin’ tired of my ex being in my dreams. I wish I could punch him so hard in my dreams that he would feel in it real life, because frankly, I was already tired of his shit when we broke up what is it 3 years ago! Uggghhh fml! Or at least the dreams that he haunts me in.

Let’s see… one of the first ones was when I was in my house. It was very dreary that day so the inside wasn’t very bright and the inside was cast with a lot of shadows. He, his name is Luis, showed up to my door unannounced with some entourage that I’d never seen before. He wouldn’t leave my door step, so stupidly I let him in hoping my ignoring him further would motivate him to leave. No. Unfortunately not the case he stayed there and in my dream he seriously drove me crazy, it was pretty scary the feeling I got from it. But Zach eventually showed up and seriously saved the day. It was sweet..

Then I remember Luis being in another dream that I don’t remember much of anything that happened other than I saw him, managed to ignore him and walk by him. But this time he didn’t do his creepy follow me around or weird stuff that he usually does. So that was awesome and I was hoping that would surely be one of the last, but it wasn’t.

I don’t remember the most recent one he was in. Apparently it wasn’t important enough to remember. Ha so I don’t even care.

Food for thought... or dreams?

I haven’t really had any good dreams this week to really share guys =(

But I do remember maybe the slightest instance of once again some crazy witch lady that was outside my boyfriend’s window. She was a creepy looking lady and wearing all black. Apparently, she was a perverted old lady because she was being a peeping Tom looking through the window as I was sleeping. I also vaguely remember something about cats as being out there as well. Maybe she was looking for one? Who knows.. I was drinkin’ that night so who knows why I was having dreams like that. Especially, with another crazy witch lady! What da heeeeewwwl?
Speaking of which, well drinks I mean, I don’t know about anyone else, but there are a few foods or drinks that can give me the strangest dreams, maybe even more so than usual. A couple of nights ago, well I think it was actually one of the last dreams that I blogged about (The one with the last witch lady and the crazy freeways haha).

I had some funky food before bed because I was in desperate need of going grocery shopping so I had to throw something together for dinner. I had the rest of my friend’s sub that he left in my fridge from that afternoon that he said he didn’t care if I ate it. So sweet free food and I didn’t have to cook when I didn’t feel like it. He had so much craziness on that thing! Seriously every pepper that subway offered, it was really good goin down, but I could almost feel the heat of it as my poor stomach tried to digest it. That sandwich paired with Doritos dipped in salsa. It was delicious, but for my dreams not the greatest dish as some of you can clearly tell.

Stringy Stiuations

I think some of the worst remembrances of dreams is when they’re fragmented. Dreams tend to be fragmented and bare of logic as it is, but to only have glimpsing memories of such a thing. It can be pretty confusing and strange if you ask me.

The other night I had a dream that there was something sitting at the back of my throat that was uncomfortable and felt on the verge of choking me. I stick my fingers in my mouth to see what it is and grab a piece of string that seems to go on as I pull on it.

I almost feel the string sliding along the back side of my throat until something catches in the back of my mouth that I can feel on the roof of my mouth and back of my tongue. I reach my fingers in once more, until I feel a thin metal object that I can barely hold with my fingers. I maneuver my tongue to let the object pass and attached to the string was a needle.

But it didn’t end there. There was still more string and the gagging feeling was growing increasingly uncomfortable. I had to have pulled out at least four or five needles that had strange heirloom objects or at least something of importance between them.

So I tried looking up string, but none of the definitions really fit my dream. There was a ball of string, tying a string, cutting a string, untangling and using, but I didn’t think any of these were satisfactory. However under thread, which is similar was cotton thread which is what it was made out of. The meaning for that was that “your arguments with a lover over rational things are irrational.” None of the definitions of throat fit nor the ones for heirlooms… Hmmm…

A good lickin'

I recall having the beginning of this dream before. It was this strange metropolis/cavern of freeways. Some looping impossibly others have many split offs. Some going up and out of the cavern into bright light. It was like a roller coaster of pavement. I couldn’t tell which way was up at times. I do remember having a hard time navigating through the roller coaster maze at previous times though.
Suddenly, I was in a more traditional cavern in a sense, or really a cave-like tunnel. There were huge steatites and stalagmites of ice covered rock. I don’t know why we had to go through this thing, but we had to. Only at first could I feel the cold, but after awhile I couldn’t notice it. Me and a few others, which seemed like a pseudo family of members I’ve never seen.
Yet, together we wound our way through the passages having a good feeling that we were nearing the end, until we came to a part of the tunnels that had no ice. It grew a little noticeably warmer and there ceased to be ice. It seemed like someone lived there, but it looked mostly like a big kitchen. There were dried herbs hanging from the ceiling and everywhere else. Pots made of silver and brass hung from the ceiling as well. There was smoke from some unseen person cooking up something.
She emerged from somewhere, immediately pining for me first. I held her off as the rest made it to the other side and to the tunnels again. She was just a little old lady with wrinkly skin and with her hair tied back in usually grandma-like clothing. But apparently she was some sort of which because she blew some sort of powder in my face that was not good. My encounter was to lick my hand and wipe it on her face to counter whatever it was she did. Haha
I’m pretty sure there was more to the fight, but I didn’t write it down soon enough to remember =( but I made off to the tunnels again, and I don’t remember what happened after that.